Leg 1 - Human Interest Story

Day 1 – Human Connection – Benicia to Santa Barbara

Human Interest Story:

I went for an hour’s walk along the beach.  When I came back, my neighbor came over to say hello.  Her name was Christine, and she rescues dogs.  She told me that I should have a dog on my trip.   She also had rescued a parrot from a friend of hers.  The friend had died last year, then her husband killed himself three months later.  The poor parrot had plucked its breast feathers out.  This hit me in the heart.  I understood this parrot, and she understood me.  I would have plucked my breast feathers out if I had them. 

Christine invited me to come and stay with her at her house on my way back.  I think she was sincere.  She is a year younger than me.  Her husband is alive, but I could tell that she was envious of my journey.  I told her John had died, and that was why I was taking this trip.  Her immediate response was “Oh, I’m so jealous.”  She quickly caught herself and paused for just the briefest of moments.  Then said, “I didn’t mean to say that – I’m not jealous, not jealous, not jealous.”  The way she said it made me think she wasn’t happy in her marriage.  But maybe I’m just making that up.  Maybe I just want everyone to be unhappy like I was.  In reality, aren’t we all unhappy?  On some level?  And we work so hard to adopt an attitude of positivity.  Otherwise, there wouldn’t be so many self-help books and podcasts on the topic.

When I was ready to leave, she hugged me and wished me safe travels.  A moment of touch for a person starved for touch.  Thank you, Christine.

Processing of grief:  I am thinking I am processing my grief by telling my story over and over.  Having someone hear me and offer connection.  Showing me that there are other lives out there and other ways to bring myself happiness.  She rescues animals.  She has found a purpose for her life.  I need a purpose.