I ask myself often why I am posting this blog

It is in part to help me process my own grief.  I needed/need to tell my story over and over in order for the story to lose its power over me.

It is in part to help you – fellow grievers.  To those of you who are in the early stages of grief and are desperately trying to find something that will help you.  I know now that nothing helps in that moment when you are in a fetal position on the floor, but I am here.  When your sobbing finally slowly subsides and you can open your eyes…I am here.  I can walk with you as you get up from the floor.

Part of me doesn’t want to share my story with the public because it is so personal and intimate.  But I am compelled to.  I trust the Universe to guide me, so I am posting.

I learned after Mom and John died that people don’t like to deal with grief.  It is a forbidden subject, I think because it makes people uncomfortable.  They typically don’t know what to say and they want to make the griever feel better.

I would have liked to talk about it.  That is how I process – I talk about things.  There were a few angels who found me and helped me with the talking part, and they forever will be in my book as guardian angels.  But the majority of people either didn’t talk about it, or said things designed to help me that just made me feel worse.

“Don’t worry, he isn’t in pain any longer.”  “You’ll see him again.”  “Something good will come out of this.” “He is still with you.”

None of these helped me.  Actually, they made me hurt more. 

Part of the reason I am posting this blog is to help people understand that it is okay to talk to a grieving person about the person they lost.  If you aren’t sure if someone wants to talk about their grief – ask them.  “Would you like to talk about your person?”  “Would you like to talk about your sadness?”  A great way to start is to prompt: “Tell me a story about your person.”  Then be quiet and let them talk.